Lately, I am turning into a little bit of a germaphobe.
Mostly, I blame it on swine flu. And Riley. It's pretty hard to stop thinking about germs being EVERYWHERE when you have a four-year-old boy who is always picking his nose or scratching his bottom (Note to reader: for some mysterious reason, Riley seems to think the scratching of the bottom can only be properly performed without the troublesome barrier of pants or underwear).
We've had the germ talk before, Riley and I. And I used to be under the illusion that some of it was sinking in, that maybe, just maybe, I could stop being the hand sanitizer nazi and have a chance at a normal life again.
Those hopes were pretty much dashed yesterday. Riley informed me that he had to go "poo"---Lucky for me, he always lets me know, and in those exact delightful words, usually as I'm about to take a big bite of dinner.
Anyway, Riley went to the bathroom and when I could hear that he was done, I decided I better intercept him and do a quick hand check.
Me: "Hey buddy, let me see those hands. Did you get them good and clean?"
R: "Yeah, mommy. They're weal clean." (yep, he still has a speech impediment.)
Me: Grabbing hand.."Let me see. Wait just a minute, they aren't even wet. And why is your hand all balled up like that?"
Me: Prying open Riley's fingers... "Is your hand full of teddy grahams? Why would you take Teddy Grahams to the bathroom?"
Riley: "They're just weally super e-licious and I didn't want Ashy to eat them. I just weally, weaally, like them."
For those of you who are wondering how an uncordinated four-year old can manage to hoist himself off the toilet, wipe properly, and zip up his pants one-handed and without any cross-fecal contamination of the teddy grahams, let me solve the mystery for you: It Can't. Be. Done.
Good thing they sell hand sanitizer in bulk.
NYC trip 2025
7 hours ago
4 comments:
It is easier to scratch things without clothes, you know. Just saying.
Also, did I know you're a germophobe? That may throw a wrench into our friendship a little bit.
I'm not a hardcore one. It'll be fine as soon as Riles stops doing things like eating whilst on the toilet.
That is such a great story. It's totally an excerpt from my life. Multiply that by four germy boys and that's how it goes. Today I walked into the bathroom to see Tenny standing on the toilet trying to pee. Needless to say not all of it got in but what was I suppose to do. If I grab him and set him down then we have wee wee spraying everywhere so I just had to let him finish. Good luck and tell me if you find a sanitizer that doesn't dry your hands so much.
I guess this is why I make Chase yell that he is done so I can go and help do the wiping duty.
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