Okay, so I have this great memory from my childhood. All four of us Morrill kids are lined up by the door with freshly scrubbed faces. My mom is trying to get us out the door before some sort of disaster occurs and we’re late AGAIN. She’s running around the house frantically, looking for her keys. Her teeth are clinched and she’s asking, “Where in the world are my keys?” Why are her teeth clinched? Because her keys are dangling from her mouth.
At the time, we all thought that was pretty funny. But now I understand something that I never knew before. I’ve always been absent minded, but now it’s worse than ever. I’ve decided that once you become a mom, you lose your mind.
Let me present some evidence. A couple of weeks ago, I was getting gas. As I got in my car and started to pull away, I happened to look out the car window. I had left the gas nozzle in my car pump, and as I pulled away, it jerked it out and went flying. My fellow gas pumpers all thougt that was pretty funny.
Later, Sam and I locked our keys in the car. The bad part was Riley was still in it. Luckily, the car was running so he didn’t get too hot. We stood there for about 10 minutes while Sam tried to break in. It was unsuccessful, so we decided to call the police. It was at that point that my mom noticed my purse dangling from my shoulder and asked, “Are your keys in there by any chance?” The answer to that was yes, of course they were. In the ten minutes of frantic deliberation, the fact that I had my keys right there beside me didn’t even cross my mind.
After that, Sam and I decided to go to Barnes and Noble. After taking Riley out of the car, I looked down and noticed I had forgotten to buckle him into his car seat.
All of this happened in a 24 hour period. For those of you who are thinking of reporting me to child services, please don’t! I promise that I won’t do stupid things that endanger Riley’s life anymore. However, I’m sure I’ll keep doing plenty of stupid things that don’t endanger his life.
Anyway, I want to hear all of you mothers out there fess up. Has anyone else noticed that a vicious cycle of stupidity began with the birth of your first child? Or is it just me?