The Ins and Outs

Riley has been remarkably well-behaved lately. His tantrums are down to the bare minimum of one or two (or three or four) per day, sharing is now occasionally a feasible concept, and his words are actually starting to sound like, well, real, English-language words. Within the last couple of weeks, Ee-I-E-I-Os has become McDonald's and putnos are now blankets. And as eager as I've been for him to start talking like a real person, I'm now pretty darn sad that his baby lingo is starting to go out the window. (I know, I know, decide what you want already, lady).

After reading over my blog one night, I realized that 90 percent of all my entries are entirely based on Riley and his savagery. Hey, you've got to stick with material that works, right? Stories about how Riley flung his food against the wall at a dinner party are definitely more exciting than stories about how he sat on the couch for an hour and watched TV.

But, lest some of you out there are starting to think my child has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, I thought I better focus for at least a couple of paragraphs on the sweet things Riley does every day that absolutely melt my heart. Don't worry though. We'll continue to our regular programing of savagery, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at the end of this very post.

First, for the sweet stuff. Every time I stub my toe or drop a pan full of food upside down in the oven or slam my elbow in the car door (those things all happen much more often than you would think possible around here), Riley immediately runs up to me with the most concerned face possible and says, "I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry mommy!"

Earlier this year, at the state fair, a giant statue of a driller man that haunts our town as a monument to the oil gods was clothed in a huge t-shirt as part of the fair promotion. They took the shirt off the statue after the fair, and every single one of the hundreds of times we've driven past the statue since can be met with Riley's cries of "Uh-oh mommy! Uh-oh! His shirt! His shirt! Man so cold." If it weren't for all of the stealing of toys from helpless, smaller toddlers, I would swear Riley has all the makings of a great humanitarian.

Riley also does this completely adorable thing where he cuddles up to me, puts his little hand behind my ear, and then pulls my face close to his. It's pretty hard to resist.

But, resist I must, because now it's time to move on to talk of more savagery.


The other day when I was in the shower (that's the most dangerous time of day), Riley crumbled up an entire box of graham crackers and put them in the driver's and passenger's seats of every one of his dozens and dozens of toy cars. Well, and why not? Graham crackers occasionally want to go for car rides, too.


Next exhibit:


Riley flushed all my makeup that was conceivably flushable down the toilet. Then, he drew all over himself with my eyebrow pencil and looked like a goth for three days because that stuff was darn near impossible to scrub off.


The great thing about having Riley around is that every day really is an adventure. There are the ins, and then there are the outs, but I wouldn't trade either of them for anything.