Food, Glorious Food

For the past six months, Riley has been turning up his nose at 99.9 percent of EVERY. SINGLE. THING. I make. He'll take one, snobbish glance at whatever it is that I sit on the table and say, "EWWW Mommy, Caca!" And if I ever trick him into opening his mouth to shove in a bite of food, he spits it out in half a second. It's simply delightful, and it's starting to give me quite the complex about my cooking skills.

Right now, Riley is being kept from wasting away entirely by a mere half-dozen foods (which I sing praises to on a daily basis). 1-McDonald's hamburgers and fries (I guess he's a fan of the fake meat) 2-Corndogs 3-Cheese and crackers 4-v-8 Fusion (I love this stuff--it's how I get those veggie servings down him) 5-Yogurt 6-Oatmeal, granola bars, cereal, and bread (he's a fan of carbs). Pretty appalling, huh?

Needless to say, I'm always on the lookout for recipes that have a litte more substance in them and that Riley will actually eat. That's why I was so excited to find this pancake recipe on my friend, Diane's blog.

1 cup rolled oats
1 cup cottage cheese
1/2 of a bananna (i actually put in nearly a whole)
3 eggs
1/4 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp cinnamon

I modified the recipe just a tiny bit and put in about 1/4 cup of brown sugar and 1/4 tsp salt.

Blend everything up in a blender. Then, cook on a buttered griddle.

I topped them with some strawberries and whipped cream--Give 'em a try! They're super tasty and Riley actually ate them, which is always a plus. Because let's face it. Anytime I make him a snack that he refuses to eat, I end up snarfing down the whole thing myself.

The Ins and Outs

Riley has been remarkably well-behaved lately. His tantrums are down to the bare minimum of one or two (or three or four) per day, sharing is now occasionally a feasible concept, and his words are actually starting to sound like, well, real, English-language words. Within the last couple of weeks, Ee-I-E-I-Os has become McDonald's and putnos are now blankets. And as eager as I've been for him to start talking like a real person, I'm now pretty darn sad that his baby lingo is starting to go out the window. (I know, I know, decide what you want already, lady).

After reading over my blog one night, I realized that 90 percent of all my entries are entirely based on Riley and his savagery. Hey, you've got to stick with material that works, right? Stories about how Riley flung his food against the wall at a dinner party are definitely more exciting than stories about how he sat on the couch for an hour and watched TV.

But, lest some of you out there are starting to think my child has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, I thought I better focus for at least a couple of paragraphs on the sweet things Riley does every day that absolutely melt my heart. Don't worry though. We'll continue to our regular programing of savagery, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at the end of this very post.

First, for the sweet stuff. Every time I stub my toe or drop a pan full of food upside down in the oven or slam my elbow in the car door (those things all happen much more often than you would think possible around here), Riley immediately runs up to me with the most concerned face possible and says, "I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry mommy!"

Earlier this year, at the state fair, a giant statue of a driller man that haunts our town as a monument to the oil gods was clothed in a huge t-shirt as part of the fair promotion. They took the shirt off the statue after the fair, and every single one of the hundreds of times we've driven past the statue since can be met with Riley's cries of "Uh-oh mommy! Uh-oh! His shirt! His shirt! Man so cold." If it weren't for all of the stealing of toys from helpless, smaller toddlers, I would swear Riley has all the makings of a great humanitarian.

Riley also does this completely adorable thing where he cuddles up to me, puts his little hand behind my ear, and then pulls my face close to his. It's pretty hard to resist.

But, resist I must, because now it's time to move on to talk of more savagery.


The other day when I was in the shower (that's the most dangerous time of day), Riley crumbled up an entire box of graham crackers and put them in the driver's and passenger's seats of every one of his dozens and dozens of toy cars. Well, and why not? Graham crackers occasionally want to go for car rides, too.


Next exhibit:


Riley flushed all my makeup that was conceivably flushable down the toilet. Then, he drew all over himself with my eyebrow pencil and looked like a goth for three days because that stuff was darn near impossible to scrub off.


The great thing about having Riley around is that every day really is an adventure. There are the ins, and then there are the outs, but I wouldn't trade either of them for anything.

The Anti-Blogger

So, as you can probably judge given the fact that my last post was a month ago, I have been in a serious blogging funk lately. Don't be too shocked here, but I even debated giving up blogging entirely. And out of guilt for these feelings of infidelity, I haven't checked any of YOUR blogs for the past month either.

So what's been filling my time these last few weeks, now that I'm not blogging nine hours a day? Crossword puzzles. Yep. That's right. I am now a crossword master. And I was happy with my new status in life. But then I realized something: Being addicted to crossword puzzles is even MORE boring and MORE pathetic than being addicted to blogging. So, I have repented from my wayward-ness, and here I am again!

I guess I should start with a few catch-phrase re-caps of Christmas break. Hubby's broken collarbone induced by close contact with a ski slope. Wife going crazy because hubby can no longer change diapers, help with the dishes, or dress himself. Flight delay caused by Colorado Blizzard. Riley's gets the croup, vomits repeatedly for two weeks because he does not understand the concept of coughing. A full-blown tantrum on the airplane because apple juice is not a viable beverage option.

Don't worry, there was plenty of great, wonderful stuff that happened too, including, but not limited to, the following: Lots and lots of yummy food, playing in the Utah snow, laughing with friends and family.

We spent the first week of Christmas break in Texas, then flew to Utah for a week. Santa was a little too generous with Riley this year and brought him his own train set which, when set up in its entirety, is big enough to require its own area code. Sam put the thing together on Christmas day, and I'm 100 percent sure it will never be completely assembled again.

Riley was thrilled by the concept of presents, and there were lots of smiles.


And lots of excited shouts.
And lots of playing with cousins.
And cuddling with Grandma.
But then, the presents were gone. And Riley started making faces that looked like this:

Only much, much grumpier. Because let's face it, no matter how much you try to drill into your two-year-old child's head that Christmas is really about giving and love and togetherness, they're only thinking one thing on Christmas morning: "Presents, presents. I've got to grab as many of those things as I can in the shortest amount of time possible!" Anyone want to guess Riley's most oft-used phrase of the holiday season? "I yan't dat putno." For those of you who no-speaky Riley-ese, putno= present.

I guess we'll have to work harder on that for next year!